[{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/changing-role-from-son-to-head-of-the-house\/#NewsArticle","mainEntityOfPage":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/changing-role-from-son-to-head-of-the-house\/","headline":"Changing role: From son to head of the house","name":"Changing role: From son to head of the house","description":"A few months before my father\u2019s death, he held my brother\u2019s and my hands and told us to take good care of our mother, who was the love of his life.\u00a0 As clich\u00e9 as it sounds, I\u00a0 had always been struck by the enduring love my parents had for each other,\u00a0 after decades of being […]","datePublished":"2022-02-10","dateModified":"2022-04-16","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/author\/tony-goh\/#Person","name":"Tony Goh","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/author\/tony-goh\/","identifier":398,"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_3588-copy-100x100.jpg","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_3588-copy-100x100.jpg","height":96,"width":96}},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"TheHomeGround Asia","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/photo_2021-07-22-222533.jpeg","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/photo_2021-07-22-222533.jpeg","width":640,"height":640}},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/S3-Feature-1920-x-1080-px-V1-23.jpg","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/S3-Feature-1920-x-1080-px-V1-23.jpg","height":900,"width":1600},"url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/changing-role-from-son-to-head-of-the-house\/","commentCount":"4","comment":[{"@type":"Comment","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/changing-role-from-son-to-head-of-the-house\/#Comment1","dateCreated":"2026-06-29 00:01:12","description":"Your article helped me a lot, is there any more related content? Thanks!","author":{"@type":"Person","name":"binance Registrera dig","url":"https:\/\/accounts.binance.bh\/register\/person?ref=JW3W4Y3A"}},{"@type":"Comment","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/changing-role-from-son-to-head-of-the-house\/#Comment2","dateCreated":"2026-06-20 16:14:33","description":"Thanks for sharing. I read many of your blog posts, cool, your blog is very good.","author":{"@type":"Person","name":"bonificaci\u00f3n de registro en Binance","url":"https:\/\/www.binance.com\/es\/register?ref=RQUR4BEO"}},{"@type":"Comment","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/changing-role-from-son-to-head-of-the-house\/#Comment3","dateCreated":"2026-06-17 05:53:08","description":"Your article helped me a lot, is there any more related content? Thanks!","author":{"@type":"Person","name":"open binance account","url":"https:\/\/accounts.binance.com\/es-AR\/register?ref=UT2YTZSU"}},{"@type":"Comment","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/changing-role-from-son-to-head-of-the-house\/#Comment4","dateCreated":"2026-05-15 08:16:50","description":"Thanks for sharing. I read many of your blog posts, cool, your blog is very good.","author":{"@type":"Person","name":"\u6253\u5f00Binance\u8d26\u6237","url":"https:\/\/accounts.binance.com\/register\/person?ref=JW3W4Y3A"}}],"about":["Community","Local","Singapore"],"wordCount":1023,"articleBody":"A few months before my father\u2019s death, he held my brother\u2019s and my hands and told us to take good care of our mother, who was the love of his life.\u00a0As clich\u00e9 as it sounds, I\u00a0 had always been struck by the enduring love my parents had for each other,\u00a0 after decades of being together and even in his final moments, she was still top of his mind \u2014 and heart.\u00a0As the elder of his two boys, I quickly assured him that I would do exactly as he asked.\u00a0It was something I would have willingly carried out even without him asking.\u00a0A son\u2019s promiseMy father developed Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD), a persistent inflammatory lung disease that causes obstructed airflow to the lungs.Two weeks after I made my promise to him, my father suffered an attack of breathlessness caused by his COPD and fell into a coma for the next three and a half months before he died.At the time, I had just completed my national service and had just started working. The responsibility of assuming my role as man of the house and the responsibility of managing the family had not sunk in.\u00a0My mother had no clue about administrative and financial matters as she does not read or write English and had been a housewife, taking care of us for more than two decades. My father was the one having to handle financial and administrative matters for the family.\u00a0\u00a0It felt like the weight of the world had suddenly been placed upon my shoulders and I was the glue, keeping everything together.\u00a0Besides settling the medical bills racked up by my father\u2019s illness, I had to start taking responsibility for expenses of the household.\u00a0It wasn’t easy. It still isn\u2019t.For the first time in my life, I learned that beyond the usual utilities and phone bills, there were also property tax, Service and Conservancy Charges and fire insurance for our residence.\u00a0Apart from money matters, I also had to get my handyman skills up to speed. I had to change faulty light bulbs, locate defective appliances whenever the circuit breaker trips, fix leaky faucets, repair the doorbell, and even unclog a choked toilet.The changing mother-son relationshipPeople say that there is nothing like the bond between mother and son. Perhaps it is even more so in an Asian family where the father is strict and the mother loving.\u00a0I have always been closer to my mum than my dad. She was the one I would approach if I wanted to \u201cnegotiate\u201d for extra pocket money, or for approval to stay out late. I shared more with her because she was more approachable, and there would be less retribution if I had done something wrong.With my father gone, I quickly learned that there are differences to caring for your mother as a son and caring for her as the man of the house.Now that I have become the man of the house, I have to do everything a son should do and more. I have to take her thoughts and feelings into consideration more and be proactive.\u00a0Also, there is this sense of urgency that since I have lost my father before I could be filial to him, I am determined to hold on to my mother and make the most out of my time with her.It took me a little while to get used to it, but I started making it a daily habit to tell her that I love her and give her hugs. It was clear that it was strange to her and that she had to learn to get used to my new gestures.\u00a0We also spend quality time bonding over food and travel \u2014 before the Covid pandemic, that is.My mum is a foodie and whenever I hear of a nice eating place, I would take her to try out the food. My mum is also a big fan of buffets. I would frequently take her to the buffets and while she enjoys browsing through the array of dishes, she also feels the pinch these outings have on my wallet.\u00a0My mum is also my constant travel companion, especially when I travel to a destination for the first time. And should she have missed out on some of my maiden voyages, I would bring her the second time around.\u00a0Growing up, she thought Santa Claus was real and had always wanted to visit the North Pole where he lives. So, when I went to Finland, I brought her. It was summer when we were there and, of course, we did not see Santa but I am sure she had the time of her life, reliving her childhood wish.Visiting Helsinki, Finland with my mum and my cousin in 2018. (Photo source: Tony Goh)Although we spent time abroad, the most memorable ones are our heart-to-heart talks. We openly shared our grief and that was when we learned so much more about each other. We had become closer since dad died. And when my mother said, \u201cI am so blessed because you treat me so well\u201d, I was so touched that my heart ached.It took a moment for me to reply, \u201cNo mum, I am truly blessed because I have the opportunity to treat you right.\u201dCovid-19 reflectionsThe Covid-19 pandemic has driven home the fragility of life and the importance of making moments count even more. Stories of people losing their parents while stranded in another country struck me really hard. I deeply feel their pain and hope no one lives to regret not having done enough for their parents.The pandemic and all its travel restrictions and work-from-home arrangements have also given me a chance to spend more time at home with my mother.I know if my father is watching and that his son is fulfilling the promise he had made to him, he can be proud.RELATED: Shopping with mummy dearestJoin the conversations on TheHomeGround Asia\u2019s\u00a0Facebook\u00a0and\u00a0Instagram, and get the latest updates via\u00a0Telegram."},{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Destinations","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Singapore","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/\/singapore\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Changing role: From son to head of the house","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/changing-role-from-son-to-head-of-the-house\/#breadcrumbitem"}]}]