[{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/escaping-the-perils-of-miswanting-in-the-endless-hunt-for-happiness\/#NewsArticle","mainEntityOfPage":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/escaping-the-perils-of-miswanting-in-the-endless-hunt-for-happiness\/","headline":"Escaping the perils of \u2018miswanting\u2019 in the endless hunt for happiness","name":"Escaping the perils of \u2018miswanting\u2019 in the endless hunt for happiness","description":"Having a successful career. Being with the partner of your dreams. Owning the fastest sports car or that big bungalow on the hill. These are typical goals that people have come to believe will bring them happiness. But for how long?\u00a0 Why does happiness from material possessions not last? This is a case of \u2018miswanting\u2019, […]","datePublished":"2021-08-13","dateModified":"2022-01-12","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/author\/Atalia%20Chua\/#Person","name":"Atalia Chua","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/author\/Atalia%20Chua\/","identifier":339,"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a83f1814f9ae936340d5c9530df0dcd78295c85ee63b72b84945716f843d62d2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a83f1814f9ae936340d5c9530df0dcd78295c85ee63b72b84945716f843d62d2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","height":96,"width":96}},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"TheHomeGround Asia","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/photo_2021-07-22-222533.jpeg","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/photo_2021-07-22-222533.jpeg","width":640,"height":640}},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/1628666004440_feature_image_miswanting_edit.jpg","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/1628666004440_feature_image_miswanting_edit.jpg","height":626,"width":1280},"url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/escaping-the-perils-of-miswanting-in-the-endless-hunt-for-happiness\/","commentCount":"2","comment":[{"@type":"Comment","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/escaping-the-perils-of-miswanting-in-the-endless-hunt-for-happiness\/#Comment1","dateCreated":"2026-06-02 01:39:20","description":"Your article helped me a lot, is there any more related content? Thanks! https:\/\/accounts.binance.com\/register-person?ref=IXBIAFVY","author":{"@type":"Person","name":"binance anm\"alningsbonus","url":"https:\/\/www.binance.bh\/register?ref=L4EUT9FG"}},{"@type":"Comment","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/escaping-the-perils-of-miswanting-in-the-endless-hunt-for-happiness\/#Comment2","dateCreated":"2026-05-22 13:47:24","description":"Your article helped me a lot, is there any more related content? Thanks! https:\/\/accounts.binance.bh\/es-AR\/register?ref=UT2YTZSU","author":{"@type":"Person","name":"binance account","url":"https:\/\/accounts.binance.bh\/es-AR\/register?ref=UT2YTZSU"}}],"about":["Community","Health & Wellness","Local","Singapore"],"wordCount":1660,"articleBody":"Having a successful career. Being with the partner of your dreams. Owning the fastest sports car or that big bungalow on the hill. These are typical goals that people have come to believe will bring them happiness. But for how long?\u00a0 Why does happiness from material possessions not last?This is a case of \u2018miswanting\u2019, which is a category of \u2018affective forecasting\u2019. Coined by psychologists Dan Gilbert and Tim Wilson, the term is defined\u00a0as \u2018people [making] mistakes about how much they will like something in the future [and] often [mispredicting] the duration of their good and bad feelings\u2019. There is nothing better than wanting a \u2018prince charming\u2019 or an ideal partner but is this realistic? (Photo source: allkpop)People often assume they know what their hearts desire and these are always things they covet. Often when they manage to attain them, the good feelings do not last.\u00a0Many of the things we think will make us happy, like having more money, nabbing Prince Charming, going on that long vacation, getting that promotion everyone wanted, do not seem to make us happier than what we are today. That extra happiness seems rather fleeting. So what does it take to unlock the enigmatic notion of being happy?\u00a0The concept of happinessThe concept of happiness is fluid and individualistic. What makes someone happy may ironically be the cause of displeasure for someone else. Happiness can be construed as an ideal state that can be reached. (Photo source: Happiness.com)Ling Anne Hsieh, who co-founded Project Green Ribbon, a youth-led organisation dedicated to lending support to those struggling with their mental health, says that the concept depends highly on different periods as well. \u201cThe modern concept of happiness, albeit warped, is that happiness is an ideal state that can be reached,\u201d she comments.\u00a0Elaborating, Ms Hsieh says that it is \u201ca state of heart that can be achieved at any one moment regardless of one\u2019s circumstances\u201d because people believe they can \u201cdo different things and establish different means to achieve [it]\u201d. Such is the case for financial consultant Ariel Seah. She says the things that make her feel content are intangible. The 28-year-old says \u201cto be in a state of bliss and peace within [myself]\u201d is happiness in itself. One of the ways she strives to attain peace is to be \u201ccomfortable in my own skin\u201d.\u00a0Once Ms Seah achieves that, she is \u201cin control of [the] situation\u201d which helps her – concentrate on the right things that help her reach total happiness.\u00a0Finding inner peace and being comfortable within oneself is a form of happiness. (Photo source: Freepik)Ms Hsieh shares the same thought that \u201cto be happy is to know that you are content within, [and] to be joyful in one\u2019s own nature,\u201d she adds.A 28-year-old account manager, Zheng Xiaoting, internalises a similar mindset about happiness. She says \u201cto have the ability to [follow] what your inner thoughts want [over] what society wants\u201d is how she can feel happy.\u00a0Knowing yourself: The first step in setting the right goalsWhile Ms Seah is fortunate to realise what brings her happiness, not everyone is as lucky.\u00a0People may not know themselves well enough and therefore set miswanting goals. (Photo source: WBUR)She says not being able to fully understand what can make you happy \u201chappens all the time\u201d and to many, regardless of age and gender. Ms Seah adds that she still has to come to grips with it sometimes because \u201cthere is that side of [us] where we think we are [certain] of [what brings us total happiness] but [it is] actually not the case\u201d. Ms Seah gives an insight, that it is sometimes not about what we understand about ourselves, but what others see that directs our beliefs to what we think will contribute to our happiness.\u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s a constant learning and discovery of yourself, your life\u201d and the need to be open-minded. These are keys to discovering true happiness, she says.\u00a0This is supported by Ms Hsieh\u2019s belief that \u201chappiness is subjective, like the word \u2018rich\u2019\u201d. \u201cSome people can have little money and [still] feel content and rich. Regardless of your circumstance, it is always possible to be happy.\u201dInfluences that lead us to miswantA flipside, then, would be letting society or even other people dictate what we are pursuing as happiness. This is when \u2018miswanting\u2019 results.Miswanting can be setting a goal to please someone else, like parents, friends or partners. (Photo source: National University of Singapore)For example, academic excellence and getting good grades is a common pressure shared by Singapore students, and this has led them to believe that good results, and nothing else, are pegged to their happiness.\u00a0Ms Hsieh says there are some people who face pressures as children from families and society. These people are often pushed to \u201c[become] teachers or doctors when they grow up, with the thinking that by achieving these careers, they will lead good lives and hence become happy\u201d.\u00a0She says this is \u2018miswanting\u2019, as these children will always be living the needs and wants of other people and as a result, they are pursuing goals that are not their own. Confusing societal pressures as an authentic goal will cause people not to live true to themselves (Photo source: The New York Times)Ms Seah agrees. She says while belief systems on what frames happiness can be defined by the individuals themselves, \u201cparents\u2019 expectations and certain [outlooks] of relatives\u201d can also influence somebody’s miswanting. An example would be living and fulfilling your parents\u2019 dreams of having a doctor in the family, when you yourself have always aspired to be a theatre actress.\u201cWhen we live in such a manner, we end up not being true to ourselves,\u201d Ms Hsieh says.\u00a0Adding, Ms Zheng says she is sure that everyone actually knows what he or she really wants – even rejecting goals imposed upon them by others. Yet despite this, external pressures do put a spanner in the works, causing people to doubt their own goals, and resulting in miswanting.Ways to align true happiness with the correct goalsReflection can help in aligning goals with true happiness. (Photo source: Pinterest)One way to reduce miswanting is through mindfulness or being aware of the moment while acknowledging and accepting your own feelings and thoughts.\u00a0Ms Seah agrees and says that she \u201creflects often\u201d. This helps her to evaluate her wants regularly and ensure that they are still the very goals that will make her feel good in the future.\u00a0Such alignment can be met only by being \u201ctrue to ourselves\u201d, Ms Hsieh says. \u201cOne way is to work backwards. You start with thinking of how you will [feel] in your final days, or to see every single day as your last,\u201d she says. This will, in turn, help you gauge whether you are \u201ctruly living [your]core values\u201d. Another method to help reach true happiness with the things you desire is to be aware of the \u2018operation of [the] psychological immune systems\u2019 when it comes to negative future events.\u00a0What this means, according to Gilbert and Wilson in their Havard article, is realising that an adverse situation in life may not have affected someone as badly as he or she perceives because an \u2018assortment of cognitive strategies and tactics will limit or repair the damage\u2019.The operation of psychological immune systems can help us cope with negative future events that are desperately avoided. (Photo source: LinkedIN)Called the unconscious psyche of habituation or hedonic adaptation, it is the \u2018human\u2019s innate capacity to get used to things\u2019 and it is often overlooked. In other words, something negative may happen in the future, but people adapt to the situation and move on. A lack of awareness of this may worsen the negative feelings, resulting in miswants as people avoid what they perceive to be \u2018unhappiness\u2019. Ms Zheng says she tries to avoid this by basing her happiness on health and well-being. \u201cI set one small goal each day – simple ones like \u2018I shall drink 10 glasses of water today\u2019. Knowing that this keeps my body well-hydrated really makes me feel good about myself,\u201d she says.What are healthy wantsIn a less literal way, healthy wants are should not be entirely dictated by past emotions to determine what actions to take or goals to set presently and in the future to achieve one\u2019s happiness.\u00a0Chasing happiness as the ultimate goal can become an unhealthy want. (Photo source: The Best Brain Possible)Ms Zheng believes that \u201cchasing happiness [as] the ultimate goal [in life]\u201d can be an unhealthy desire. \u201cIt is unrealistic, and most of the time we find ourselves even more lost than [when] we started,\u201d she explains. Understanding what matters in life and using time meaningfully may be more fulfilling than happiness. (Photo source: See It Live)There is also the difference between \u2018liking\u2019 and \u2018wanting\u2019 that adds to the fray. Wanting is a prediction of what someone will like in the future.\u00a0Ms Seah says that a healthy want would be focusing on what she likes, and not what she wants. To her, something more meaningful such as\u00a0 \u201ca purpose in life\u201d and \u201ca sense of achievement\u201d are equally important in bringing about her happiness.\u00a0Ms Hsieh cautions against the same thing. \u201cI can\u2019t emphasise it enough [that] happiness is definitely not something to be strived for,\u201d she says. To her, being content and understanding \u201cwhat matters to us in this life and [using] our time meaningfully\u201d to achieve it is healthier.\u00a0\u201cHappiness is a feeling [and a] state of mind. It can be disastrous to always pursue a state of \u2018euphoria\u2019 at a constant level,\u201d she adds.\u00a0Instead, Ms Hsieh believes that people should strive to lead meaningful lives, and “let happiness come naturally”.Join the conversations on TheHomeGround Asia’s Facebook and Instagram, and get the latest updates via Telegram. "},{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Destinations","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Singapore","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/\/singapore\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Escaping the perils of \u2018miswanting\u2019 in the endless hunt for happiness","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/escaping-the-perils-of-miswanting-in-the-endless-hunt-for-happiness\/#breadcrumbitem"}]}]