[{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/is-therapy-for-everyone\/#NewsArticle","mainEntityOfPage":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/is-therapy-for-everyone\/","headline":"Opinion: Is therapy for everyone?","name":"Opinion: Is therapy for everyone?","description":"In Season 3, Episode 4 of Sex Education, Jakob Nyman tells therapist Jean Milburn, his soon-to-be co-parent, \u201cI\u2019m not saying that you\u2019re not good at your job, but I\u2019m not sure that talking can fix everyone!\u201d There are two kinds of people: the therapy sceptics (Jakob, right), and the offended believers (Jean, left). (Photo source: […]","datePublished":"2021-10-22","dateModified":"2022-04-16","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/author\/rachel-teng\/#Person","name":"Rachel Teng","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/author\/rachel-teng\/","identifier":367,"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/Rachel_Teng-100x100.jpg","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/Rachel_Teng-100x100.jpg","height":96,"width":96}},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"TheHomeGround Asia","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/photo_2021-07-22-222533.jpeg","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/photo_2021-07-22-222533.jpeg","width":640,"height":640}},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/1634875694300_Is_therapy_for_everyone_Freepik_1280x626.jpg","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/1634875694300_Is_therapy_for_everyone_Freepik_1280x626.jpg","height":626,"width":1280},"url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/is-therapy-for-everyone\/","commentCount":"3","comment":[{"@type":"Comment","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/is-therapy-for-everyone\/#Comment1","dateCreated":"2026-05-02 22:57:53","description":"Absolutely loved reading this!","author":{"@type":"Person","name":"watch horse racing live free","url":"https:\/\/www.youtube.kr\/redirect?q=https:\/\/www.oneotv.com"}},{"@type":"Comment","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/is-therapy-for-everyone\/#Comment2","dateCreated":"2026-04-27 23:35:09","description":"Thanks for sharing this insightful article.","author":{"@type":"Person","name":"new balance men's shoe","url":"https:\/\/globalshoepalace.com\/product-category\/men\/new-balance-men-shoes"}},{"@type":"Comment","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/is-therapy-for-everyone\/#Comment3","dateCreated":"2026-04-23 23:47:39","description":"You made it so easy to understand.","author":{"@type":"Person","name":"salomon womens size 7","url":"https:\/\/globalshoepalace.com\/product-category\/women\/Salomon-Women-Shoes"}}],"about":["Community","Health & Wellness","Local","Singapore"],"wordCount":2183,"keywords":["aware singapore","children","counselling","health support line","Institute of mental health","mental health","mental health stigma","mental healthcare","parents","psychiatry","psychology","samaritans of singapore","seeking help","silver ribbon singapore","singapore counselling centre","therapy","training","women","workshops","world mental health day","youth"],"articleBody":"In Season 3, Episode 4 of Sex Education, Jakob Nyman tells therapist Jean Milburn, his soon-to-be co-parent, \u201cI\u2019m not saying that you\u2019re not good at your job, but I\u2019m not sure that talking can fix everyone!\u201dThere are two kinds of people: the therapy sceptics (Jakob, right), and the offended believers (Jean, left). (Photo source: Sex Education, Netflix)He wouldn\u2019t be the first or only one to have reservations about therapy, even in 2021.In 2020, the Women\u2019s Care Centre at Association for Women for Action and Research (AWARE) saw almost 500 counselling clients, according to an AWARE spokesperson. About 4 in 5 reported functioning better at work and\/or in their personal lives post-therapy, and around 9 in 10 were able to develop effective coping strategies to deal with the issues they faced.\u00a0But what about the plight of the remaining 15-21 per cent? Does therapy just not work for everyone? What are the factors that contribute to its failure for this group of people?\u00a0Common misconceptions about therapy\u00a0According to Mr John Shepherd Lim, Chief Wellbeing Officer of Singapore Counselling Centre (SCC), clients dropping out of therapy after the first session is common.\u00a0\u201cSome may feel that the therapist is not a right fit for them, or that the therapy session is not aligned with their expectations,\u201d he says.\u00a0This is why many therapists aim to make the most of the first session by getting to know the expectations of each client to manage them, set clear goals, and ensure therapy continuity, says an executive of Partnerships and Engagement of Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) Emily Tandar.\u00a0From their experiences, the few factors that contribute to the decision to stop counselling sessions include the following fallacies:\u00a01. Going for therapy is a sign of weakness.\u201cIt takes a lot of courage to acknowledge that one is struggling and in need of help,\u201d says Ms Tandar. She cites the example of suicidal clients who might experience emotional barriers such as shame and fear of being judged.\u00a0In fact, many therapists, Ms Tandar included, believe that seeking help is more a sign of courage. \u201cTaking the step to find support and hope when they are in a state of distress shows strength and resourcefulness,\u201d she says.\u00a02. Therapy is only for people with serious mental health issues.There are many reasons why someone seeks help \u2014\u00a0from wanting to understand more about their relationship patterns, stressful home and work situations, to longstanding conditions such as depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).\u00a0Instead of treating therapy as a judgement of how \u201cserious\u201d one\u2019s problem is, Mr Lim encourages people to view it as “just another way to improve aspects of your life by learning more about yourself”.\u00a0\u201cTypically, the longer people wait to start therapy, the worse the problem gets, and the longer it might take them to resolve the issues,\u201d he adds.\u00a03. Therapy is a one-stop shop for solving all your problems.Contrary to popular belief, therapists do not have that magic wand to give advice or provide solutions that clients passively accept.\u00a0\u201cInstead, we work collaboratively with the clients to explore different ways to manage and navigate their difficult situations, and come up with a safety plan,\u201d says Ms Tandar.\u00a0It is through skilled questioning that a therapist eases through the thought processes and helps clients evaluate the resources that are already within their reach, adds Mr Lim.\u00a0Is it working or just a bunch of mumbo jumbos?Due to the wide range of issues different clients face, mental health support organisations like the SCC often have specialists from various fields working with them. They include experts in depression, addiction, children and youth, family, and relationship counselling. his allows clients to pick counsellors who can best address their needs.\u00a0There are also centres that specialise in specific areas of help. AWARE, for example, provides trauma-informed, non-judgemental, gender-focused support for women. \u201cAWARE\u2019s sessions are safe spaces designed specifically for women to discuss their issues \u2014 including marital problems, abuse, and violence \u2014 and [they then] learn about the options available to them,\u201d says its spokesperson.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cTherapy goals are usually set by the client themselves during the first session, and refined with the help of the counsellor to ensure that objectives are achievable,\u201d says Mr Lim. These goals are centred around measurable and observable behaviour changes, which are constantly revisited and assessed periodically.\u00a0Another measure of success, he adds, is when clients is eventually weaned off their need for counselling altogether \u2014 of course, periodic check-ins would still have to be done. \u201cThis is one marker that can tell us that clients are more adept in self-management, and are not in need of our help,\u201d he says.\u00a0Common pitfalls \u2014 when therapy might not work outMismatched expectations aside, there are also a few reasons that contribute to the high dropout rates among first-time therapy-goers. They become discouraged when they are unable to achieve their own set of goals within a certain timeframe, causing them to lose hope and to leave therapy altogether, says Ms Tandar.\u00a0Another reason is the level of readiness. \u201cSome clients, who are still in the pre-contemplation stage, may be less motivated to follow up with counselling sessions, especially when they have yet to acknowledge a need for change,\u201d she says.\u00a0A third reason is time. Some clients cannot make time for themselves to attend therapy sessions when they put work or family first.\u00a0In more dire cases like when clients are suicidal, Mr Lim says they also require other kinds of support that organisations like SOS are not equipped to provide.\u00a0\u201cSuicidal thoughts are often a complex culmination of different factors,\u201d he says. \u201cWhen unemployment or financial struggles are contributing to a client\u2019s feelings of hopelessness or helplessness, they require practical support beyond just counselling. … Such clients are usually referred to appropriate social service agencies for more holistic support.”\u00a0Even so, therapists do aim to make the most of each session by first exploring available positive coping skills and resources the clients can tap on, says Mr Lim.\u00a0Critical factors for success in therapy\u00a0While there is no hard and fast rule for therapy to work, there are a couple of key ingredients that have proven to be beneficial. 1. Having an open mindWhile it may be beneficial, Ms Tandar says counselling can be difficult for someone to go through as it “not only exposes your vulnerability, but it also requires you to trust and be open to a total stranger”. “At the same time you need to be patient because the recovery journey is often non-linear,\u201d she adds.\u00a0Having an open mind also means allowing yourself to be vulnerable, real, and willing to be taught \u2014 all of which facilitates the process of deep self-exploration.\u00a0\u201cThis will give the therapist more insight to work with, such as identifying existing beliefs, thoughts, and behaviours that could have contributed to the problems that you are currently facing,\u201d says Mr Lim.\u00a0\u201cBeyond the counselling sessions, having the openness to implement coping strategies that were discussed during the sessions also contribute largely to eventual client outcomes,\u201d he adds. 2. Getting along, believing in one\u2019s therapistMr Lim believes that the most important factor influencing a successful therapy outcome is being able to get along with the therapist. Termed as the therapeutic alliance, the bond between client and therapist is crucial, because \u201cboth parties need to work closely and collaboratively\u201d.\u00a0\u201cCompatibility can strengthen the connection and level of trust between client and the professional. Having a client feel safe and comfortable is important to having an honest working relationship which may influence the outcome of the therapy,\u201d says Ms Tandar.\u00a0According to Mr Lim, honest communication regarding what works and what does not is key to helping the therapist identify coping strategies that suit the client\u2019s personality and style.\u00a0\u201cShould clients not find the sessions helpful, we would then encourage them to convey this directly to their counsellors and consider giving it a few more sessions,\u201d he says. \u201cHaving said that, good \u2018chemistry\u2019 is critical, so do not be afraid to voice out should you want to change your therapist.\u201d\u00a0Not every therapist may be right for you \u2014 while a friend may have positive experiences with a particular therapist, you may not necessarily have the same experience and that\u2019s perfectly normal. Here are some red flags if a therapist is not a good fit, according to Mr Lim:\u00a0 You feel judged for the values you hold or the life experiences you have.\u00a0 You do not feel comfortable while being honest and authentic.\u00a0 The therapist is either too gentle or too assertive \u2014 these are neither good nor bad traits, but each person responds differently to the different personas and styles.\u00a0 You feel that your therapist talks too much about themselves without any therapeutic purpose.\u00a0 You leave the session feeling lousy about yourself, and there is no actionable direction or solution.\u00a0When your therapist encourages you to rely on them to meet your needs, instead of guiding you to do so independently.\u00a0If any of these should happen, it is perfectly reasonable to request a change of therapists for the next session.\u00a0Ms Porsche Poh, Executive Director of Silver Ribbon (Singapore) (SRS), adds that it\u2019s okay to try out different therapists, \u201cas long as you don\u2019t get confused\u201d.\u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s like finding a hairdresser. You\u2019d often do trial-and-error until you find somebody you really like and who knows your style, and then you stick with him or her,\u201d she says.\u00a0Importance of holistic support\u00a0Many have the misconception that if they feel overwhelmed, they have to speak to a professional, and that would be on their record, says Ms Poh. (Photo source: Psychiatry Advisor)Ms Poh left her previous role at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) in 2006 to launch SRS after discovering that there was a lack in the accessibility of mental health support in Singapore.\u00a0She says then she had noticed that funding was pumped into making the institute look \u201clike a beautiful resort\u201d. \u201cYet, when I asked young people if they were willing to seek help here, they\u2019d still say, \u2018hell no, over my dead body\u2019.\u201dShe founded SRS to address the stigma surrounding mental health through workshops and peer helper programmes with the public. Her focus: mentally or emotionally troubled youths.\u201cDue to stigma, I\u2019ve realised that many youths are not comfortable with seeking help from counsellors. It\u2019s very important to understand the community\u2019s needs, and craft our support methods accordingly,\u201d she says.\u00a0Ms Poh and her team has reached out to a wide variety of groups, ranging from professors and student leaders to religious leaders and even the police, hoping to help those who want to be “helplines for the mentally troubled”, and teach them how to look out for warning signs and know the right advice to give.\u00a0\u201cThere are some who relate mental health issues to spiritual deficiencies, for example, and would advise those who seek help to pray more, rather than go to a therapist,\u201d she says. \u201cThis happens across all religions in Singapore. We try to propose a concurrent treatment system, while respecting their religious views.\u201dShe also says that it\u2019s helpful for civil groups like the Singapore Police Force (SPF) to go through mental health workshops since the police are often the first point of contact when the mentally troubled face the risk of harming others or themselves.\u00a0\u201cI have young people who tell me that when they have their outbursts, their parents would call the police. This makes them resent their parents even more.\u00a0Sometimes, the police would handcuff them, and that never in their lives have they felt so ashamed,\u201d Ms Poh says, adding that such traumatic experience will make then less likely to comply with a future treatment plan.“A pleasant first experience with mental health support or management is therefore critical,” she says.At times, SRS\u2019s professional counsellors offer to mediate relationships between youths and their parents, advising parents on alternative approaches they can take to enhance their relationship with the children.\u00a0\u201cNot all parents know how to be perfect parents,\u201d she says. \u201cOften, when youths seek help, it doesn\u2019t mean that it\u2019s necessarily a mental health issue or diagnosed condition, but something else going on in their lives.\u201dMs Poh says the traditional treatment model is just a part of the mental health support puzzle. \u201cOften, many of us may be concerned for our loved ones, but one key question to ask is, \u2018are they ready to seek help?\u2019,\u201d she asks.\u00a0\u201cIf they\u2019re not, they don\u2019t have to speak to psychologists or psychiatrists. We can instead focus on getting them to speak to anyone for a more light-hearted intervention approach \u2014 such as the friends they trust, for a start.\u201dIf you are looking for help, seeking for a loved one, or just interested in learning more about mental healthcare, check out this consolidated resource: tinyurl.com\/gethelpsg.Join the conversations on TheHomeGround Asia’s\u00a0Facebook\u00a0and\u00a0Instagram, and get the latest updates via\u00a0Telegram."},{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Destinations","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Singapore","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/\/singapore\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Opinion: Is therapy for everyone?","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/is-therapy-for-everyone\/#breadcrumbitem"}]}]