[{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/opinion-arguing-for-the-benefits-of-being-argumentative\/#NewsArticle","mainEntityOfPage":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/opinion-arguing-for-the-benefits-of-being-argumentative\/","headline":"Opinion: Arguing for the benefits of being argumentative","name":"Opinion: Arguing for the benefits of being argumentative","description":"I still have distinct memories burned in my mind, memories of late-night screaming matches with my father on whether billionaires should exist or not; dinner table discussions on whether India is right for occupying Kashmir, which quickly turned ugly and personal.\u00a0 There are times when I don’t even try to argue with my parents. On […]","datePublished":"2021-06-30","dateModified":"2022-04-15","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/author\/Shreya%20Lakshminarayanan\/#Person","name":"Shreya Lakshminarayanan","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/author\/Shreya%20Lakshminarayanan\/","identifier":337,"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/99cd4755f0ba2c890e54c5a13102548630981715c297a5cf75c9311f18bcee47?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/99cd4755f0ba2c890e54c5a13102548630981715c297a5cf75c9311f18bcee47?s=96&d=mm&r=g","height":96,"width":96}},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"TheHomeGround Asia","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/photo_2021-07-22-222533.jpeg","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/photo_2021-07-22-222533.jpeg","width":640,"height":640}},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/1625039082525_Argumentative_1280x626.jpg","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/1625039082525_Argumentative_1280x626.jpg","height":626,"width":1280},"url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/opinion-arguing-for-the-benefits-of-being-argumentative\/","about":["Local","Singapore"],"wordCount":2213,"articleBody":"I still have distinct memories burned in my mind, memories of late-night screaming matches with my father on whether billionaires should exist or not; dinner table discussions on whether India is right for occupying Kashmir, which quickly turned ugly and personal.\u00a0There are times when I don’t even try to argue with my parents. On the contrary, I find myself nipping any burgeoning quarrel in the bud.\u00a0These memories seem similar to my classmates complaining about me being a \u2018smart Alec\u2019, or my teachers asking me \u2018why don\u2019t you give the others a chance [to speak]?\u2019 It has also become all too common to hear admonishments like \u2018Why are you so headstrong?\u2019 or \u2018Take a chill pill.\u2019\u00a0Granted, people are becoming more accepting of those who speak their mind openly and loudly, but why are they still so hostile to those who are labelled \u2018argumentative\u2019, or to the thought of arguing, at all?On being and becoming argumentativeI don\u2019t know how I became this argumentative. It wasn\u2019t a value that was instilled in me by my parents. In fact, they are probably the ones most annoyed by my need to express my opinion at all times.\u00a0It has been argued that arguing makes us better critical thinkers by honing our skills in evidence-based reasoning. (Photo source: Canva)Maybe I developed it because I wanted to rebel against my parents as an angsty preteen. Maybe I felt that I could become a better critical thinker by arguing all the time. I don\u2019t even think that \u2018argumentative\u2019 is the accurate descriptor for me (I try not to be confrontational most of the time). But it has now become an integral and essential part of my everyday life.The word ‘argue’ usually conjures the image of an explosive fight between two people, or a friendly debate that has gone awry. But that is not the only definition of what it means to argue, or to be argumentative. According to Oxford Dictionary, \u2018argue\u2019 as a verb could also mean, \u201cto give reasons why you think that something is right\/wrong, true\/not true, etc., especially to persuade people that you are right.\u201d In other words to engage in evidence-based reasoning to support or criticise an idea or a theory. This evidence can include both personal anecdotes and empirical statistics. Typically when I argue, I use evidence-based reasoning. But any argument can turn hostile and cruel, depending on how each party responds to the other. Being argumentative ensures that my perspective is heard in any discussion, especially in discussions where I feel personally invested. It compels others to consider the opposing perspective. Asserting myself need not necessarily mean that I am being confrontational, or quarrelsome, it just means that I value my opinion and can contribute meaningfully by speaking up. Moreover, during debates (that are usually civil), I stand to discover opposing or differing opinions, which better informs my worldview. In some cases, this has helped me to strengthen my own arguments and beliefs.\u00a0The word ‘argue’ usually conjures the image of an explosive fight between two people, or a friendly debate that has gone awry. But that is not the only definition of what it means to argue, or to be argumentative. (Image source: Kate Heddleston.com)Learning about others\u2019 perspectives has also helped me become more empathetic. If it weren\u2019t for such civil debates, I might still be going around shouting edgy, simplistic slogans like \u2018God is dead!\u2019 (yes, I did that as a teenager), hurting the sensibilities of other people.Today, even though I might be considered liberal in my views, I still put in the time to understand conservative viewpoints, so that I do not disrespect anyone\u2019s views or feelings (though I’d be the first to admit that I need to do a lot more work in becoming empathetic). This has also enabled me to argue in a more nuanced and thoughtful way.\u00a0The case for arguingIt is easy to see why many people shun the concept of argument, and some even choose not to speak up. The omnipresent \u2018cancel culture\u2019 looms over us. People think that there is a \u2018correct\u2019 opinion, and if their opinion does not fit what is deemed \u2018morally right\u2019, they fear being ostracised.\u00a0We see this in intellectuals and other public figures writing open letters about the \u201cthreat facing liberalism and free speech\u201d, that we are becoming less tolerant of different viewpoints. Harper\u2019s Magazine published one of the most notable open letters\u00a0last year, at the height of the Black Lives Matter movement. This letter, which had many notable signatories such as Margaret Atwood, stated that: \u201cWe are already paying the price in greater risk aversion among writers, artists and journalists who fear for their livelihoods if they depart from the consensus.\u201d Going against the grain is sometimes seen as immoral or unfashionable, preventing the free exchange of ideas from taking place.We see this in how people are losing their jobs over Tweets made many years ago. Most recently, Alexi McCammond, who was hired as Editor-in-Chief at Teen Vogue, eventually left her job due to public pressure after her insensitive tweets about Asians from nearly a decade ago resurfaced at the height of the #StopAsianHate movement, earlier this year.\u00a0\u00a0Resurfaced tweets by Alexi McCammond, ultimately led to her leaving her position at Teen Vogue. (Photo source: Hindustan Times)On the other side of the (political) spectrum, journalist Emily Wilder was let go from Associated Press in May, after her tweets from a few years ago supporting Palestinian liberation were brought to light by the Stanford Federalist Society, a conservative student organisation at her alma mater, Stanford University.These incidents sound alarm bells for many people over what they say out loud and who they engage in debate with, because many are unsure and fearful of just how far-reaching the consequences for speaking one\u2019s mind can be. What this does is to make people think twice about engaging in arguments.\u00a0Classmates and friends have told me that they are afraid to say what they really think, because they do not want to be publicly shamed. There is a lot of pressure to have the \u2018correct\u2019 or \u2018acceptable\u2019 opinion, or to justify your beliefs, which runs contradictory to the spirit of discourse. Discourse is about exchanging ideas freely and in a respectful atmosphere. It must allow for people to challenge not just the views of others, but their own views, as well. In the process, when people are exposed to differing opinions, they might develop a sensitivity towards other views. What discourse is most certainly not, is existing in an echo chamber where everyone agrees on an already-formed consensus, or fears being slandered or ostracised for expressing a contrarian view.\u00a0\u00a0In fact, many even wonder how a correct opinion is determined, or who has the moral authority to determine and decide what the \u2018correct\u2019 opinion is. Rather than encourage discourse, it can instead stifle healthy discussions between people, allowing toxicity to fester. When we are unable to engage in civil speech, we end up burning, not building bridges.\u00a0Besides, debating is said to have benefits. It makes us better critical thinkers, honing our skills in evidence-based reasoning. It also opens us up to constructive criticism, enabling us to be more humble and empathetic to other views. The development of empathy also helps us to forge more amicable bonds on a personal or professional level.In a BBC Radio Four series on How to Disagree: A Beginners Guide to Having Better Arguments, leading science writer Timandra Harkness attempts to persuade the reader that disagreement is “worth the pain.” For example, she writes that it “tests your ideas against competing ideas.” And goes so far as to recommend that people “get into a good argument at least once a day.”No matter the benefits of arguing, many will continue to choose not to speak up for fear of turning a conversation into a vicious argument, not because they feel that they might get \u2018cancelled\u2019, but rather to preserve their mental health.\u00a0Many people, especially queer people and people from other marginalised communities, lament on social media platforms, such as Instagram and Tumblr, about how tiring and taxing it is to debate issues that are pertinent to them, such as racism and homophobia. For them, speaking up means to inevitably draw the attention of those who seek to play devil\u2019s advocate. A popular post on Tumblr from user \u2018supernatasha\u2019, states that, \u201cI no longer want to debate about whether or not I should have basic human rights.\u201d \u00a0Hence, many in marginalised communities choose not to engage in any debate, but elect to retreat into safe spaces, both online and physical.\u00a0Already we have seen many on the conservative side of the political spectrum accusing marginalised communities for \u201cmaking everything about race\/gender \/ sexuality \/ fill-in-the-blank\u201d, and further dividing people along these deeply politicised and contentious lines. Many discussions, especially about contentious topics like race, disrupt existing narratives and the existing status quo, which can be jarring for people who are not affected by the same issues that marginalised communities are. This gap in understanding leads to the question: \u201cWhy are you making everything about race\/gender\/sexuality\/fill-in-the-blank?\u201d\u00a0For members of marginalised communities, such questions can seem like a direct affront to their experiences. For non-marginalised people, they might raise that question to defend themselves because they feel that they are being attacked in an argument.\u00a0Earlier this year, in response to a question about the transphobia controversy, Lawrence Wong, then Singapore\u2019s Education Minister, said in Parliament that issues of gender identity have become “bitterly contested sources of division” in some Western countries, and that Singapore should not \u201cimport these culture wars\u201d. The issue had come up after a trans student accused her school and the Ministry of Education for interfering in her hormonal treatments and refusing to support her.\u00a0Earlier this year, Lawrence Wong, then Singapore\u2019s Education Minister, said in Parliament that Singapore should not \u201cimport these culture wars\u201d, referring to the divisions that have occurred in some Western societies around gender identity issues. (Photo source: We, the Citizens)There is still a lot of hesitation to engage in meaningful debate about touchy topics. For those who are affected by these \u2018touchy topics\u2019, it feels dehumanising to them to debate their lived experiences with someone who does not share the same lived experiences, as though their lived experiences are up for question. For those who do not share the same experiences, they feel like they are being antagonised for no reason at all, and often get defensive. These days, it seems nearly impossible to reconcile both sides, contributing to further polarisation.Healing the divisionsSo how then do we continue to engage in healthy debates, if people are becoming increasingly polarised? Is it even possible to be civil with one another, especially on social media?\u00a0At the risk of being called \u2018argumentative\u2019 or \u2018disputatious\u2019 (again), I would argue that the possibility of achieving civility is irrelevant, because civility is the antidote to poisonous arguments and must be at the heart of every conversationWe have to achieve civility in order to have meaningful debates that encourage all of us to think beyond our bubbles. We have to respect the fact that people might have something to say, and possibly something meaningful to contribute. We must keep an open mind and listen to what they have to say. We must also set rules for ourselves and others; like avoid insults and crude language, do not talk over others, and set boundaries that must be respected and not crossed. If there are certain topics that you feel are not up for debate, because you feel personally affected by them, or might be triggered negatively by them, explain how it matters to you personally. Similarly, we should also ask others in the conversation if they are comfortable to talk about the issue at hand, so that we will not debate, and as a result delegitimise, their lived experiences.\u00a0Give a chance to those who disagree with you to explain their views. Preventing the formation of echo chambers is important, because we can only expand our worldview and understand other perspectives better when we engage in discussions with people who are opposed to us, or simply share opposing views to us.\u00a0Nevertheless, there is value in having safe spaces, where boundaries that have been agreed in advance are not crossed, hence protecting those engaged in the discussion from being triggered.\u00a0Civility is hard work. It requires all of us to be conscientious in observing and respecting all the rules and restrictions. It also demands of us to be patient with others and to listen with an open mind and heart, instead of jumping in defence from the get-go. But it must be achieved, so that we can remedy and heal the widening polarisation in our society.\u00a0Shreya Lakshminarayanan is a Politics, Law and Economics student at Singapore Management University, and currently interning with TheHomeGround Asia. She is keen on arguing about politics and social issues.Join the conversations on TheHomeGround Asia’s Facebook and Instagram, and get the latest updates via Telegram."},{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Destinations","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Singapore","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/\/singapore\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Opinion: Arguing for the benefits of being argumentative","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/opinion-arguing-for-the-benefits-of-being-argumentative\/#breadcrumbitem"}]}]