[{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/opinion-lets-talk-about-race\/#NewsArticle","mainEntityOfPage":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/opinion-lets-talk-about-race\/","headline":"Opinion: Let’s talk about race","name":"Opinion: Let’s talk about race","description":"\u201cThese conversations will not be easy, but they will get easier over time.\u201d \u2013 Ijeoma Oluo, So You Want to Talk About Race What\u2019s the worst that can happen when ordinary people gather to talk about race? In Singapore, we\u2019ve always been afraid to find out.\u00a0 As a mother of two Indian-Chinese children, I care […]","datePublished":"2021-07-01","dateModified":"2022-04-16","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/author\/evelyn-tan-rogers\/#Person","name":"Evelyn Tan-Rogers","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/author\/evelyn-tan-rogers\/","identifier":336,"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/3db715ebb07575492786edf988d883b72e887d9358fcebc39aa397890b27bce5?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/3db715ebb07575492786edf988d883b72e887d9358fcebc39aa397890b27bce5?s=96&d=mm&r=g","height":96,"width":96}},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"TheHomeGround Asia","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/photo_2021-07-22-222533.jpeg","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/photo_2021-07-22-222533.jpeg","width":640,"height":640}},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/1624959376902_rogan-yeoh-VgFLpU6L4bM-unsplash_1280x626.jpg","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/1624959376902_rogan-yeoh-VgFLpU6L4bM-unsplash_1280x626.jpg","height":626,"width":1280},"url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/opinion-lets-talk-about-race\/","commentCount":"749","comment":[{"@type":"Comment","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/opinion-lets-talk-about-race\/#Comment1","dateCreated":"2026-11-09 22:05:17","description":"Your blog has helped me through some tough times and I am so grateful for your wise words and positive outlook","author":{"@type":"Person","name":"Yamileth Parks","url":"https:\/\/phimheo.bar\/"}},{"@type":"Comment","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/opinion-lets-talk-about-race\/#Comment2","dateCreated":"2026-11-03 14:52:34","description":"You have a way of explaining complex topics in a straightforward and easy to understand manner Your posts are always a pleasure to read","author":{"@type":"Person","name":"Timothy Y. 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In Singapore, we\u2019ve always been afraid to find out.\u00a0As a mother of two Indian-Chinese children, I care about race relations in this country \u2013 I don\u2019t have a choice. So I bit the bullet to conduct a social experiment over one weekend, by inviting Indian friends and family to talk to me about race.\u00a0I didn\u2019t want to sit around \u201chaving a kumbaya moment,\u201d and I know now that even when you dig just a little deeper, the vulnerability hangover is real, especially where race is concerned. I could have said less, asked sharper questions, listened harder.I tried to make sense of the stories told to me. I wondered if all minority narratives were equally valid, or if I should have screened my conversation partners according to a hierarchy of suffering. And because I didn\u2019t heed race writer Ijeoma Oluo\u2019s advice to \u201cknow what you want to come out of the conversation\u201d before getting into one, the conversation transcripts were muddled and unwieldy, and almost impossible to whip into shape.But we took that first step, and the effects will ripple out when more of us realise that we don\u2019t need to be experts to talk about race. It\u2019s not about how qualified you are, but how willing you are to hear from someone else, who may not share the same experiences as you.\u00a0A mother of two Indian-Chinese children, writer Evelyn Tan-Rogers cares about race relations in Singapore: “I don’t have a choice,” she acknowledges. (Photo courtesy of Evelyn Tan-Rogers)\u201cWe\u2019re dealing with other pressing issues\u201dHaving relocated from Bangalore to Dubai, and then to Singapore in 2007, my former neighbours Sushil and Gayathri Kumar are freshly minted Singapore citizens \u2013 they waited two years and seven months for the approval.It\u2019s been a while since I\u2019ve seen Sushil, 47, a real estate director, and Gayathri, a retail executive who\u2019s just turned 40. Race is a dicey topic to reconnect over, but we have donuts and cupcakes to sweeten the deal. I open with the idea that race is a made-up label with no scientific basis. Sushil disagrees, but he goes on to say: \u201cI don\u2019t think we need to prove whether race is a \u2018thing\u2019 or not. Acceptance and resilience are more important. What I mean by \u2018acceptance\u2019 is that if someone told me, \u2018What you\u2019re saying is wrong,\u2019 I would apologise, and I wouldn\u2019t repeat it. At the same time, I would expect that person to not hold it against me, that\u2019s resilience.\u201dFor many immigrants, a sense of belonging can be tenuous, and in a relentlessly pragmatic city like Singapore, acceptance can feel conditional, even for born-and-bred citizens. I check if my friends are rattled by our most recent \u201cracist episodes\u201d \u2013 the brisk walker, the interracial couple, the gong.\u00a0\u201cI wouldn\u2019t underplay these events, and we recognise that there are tensions. But this isn\u2019t a priority for us, the way it might be for others,\u201d says Sushil. \u201cPeople have lost their jobs. I lost a dear friend in India to Covid-19, and some of our college mates have passed away.\u201dAdds Gayathri: \u201cWe couldn\u2019t even share the news about our citizenship, because almost all of our friends\u2019 parents were either in hospital, or waiting for a bed.\u201dRace hasn\u2019t dominated conversations on their social networks, and they don\u2019t seem to feel vulnerable or hypervisible.\u00a0\u201cA slur is ugly, and it can stir up intense emotions. But discrimination is about situations where someone says \u2018I wasn\u2019t able to gain admission to a college\u2019 or \u2018I wasn\u2019t given a job offer\u2019 because of bias,\u201d says Sushil. \u201cWe\u2019ve lived here for 15 years, and we don\u2019t remember a day of coming home and feeling like we\u2019ve been discriminated against.\u201d\u201cMaybe a handful of people are racist, but what I\u2019ve experienced here is kindness,\u201d says Gayathri. \u201cWhen Singaporeans see someone in need, they don\u2019t look at your race or your colour \u2013 they\u2019ll come forward to help. When my dad first visited Singapore, he lost his way, and the taxi driver who picked him up refused to take money from him. You\u2019ll hardly find this anywhere else.\u201d\u201cThere\u2019s honesty as well,\u201d Sushil chimes in, adding that an uncle of his had managed to track down a lost wallet in a shopping mall, after a week, with everything intact.I think to myself that good people can be racists too, or are we all racist \u2013 as long as we\u2019re the majority? The moment passes, and the conversation shifts to this: Is it acceptable to ask a new citizen, ‘Where are you from?’\u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s a friendly conversation starter, that\u2019s all it is,\u201d says Sushil. \u201cThere are a lot of people migrating from one place to another \u2013 one of my colleagues was born in a refugee camp and has lived in five countries, including Singapore. If you asked \u2018Where are you from?\u2019 to a guy like that, he wouldn\u2019t be angry. He\u2019d be wondering, \u2018Where do I start?\u2019\u201dAlthough I\u2019m supposed to be the one with the questions, Sushil has one for me:\u201cDo you think you\u2019re privileged?\u201d\u00a0I don\u2019t have an answer that satisfies him. That\u2019s something to work on.\u201cIt\u2019s everybody\u2019s responsibility to talk about race\u201dEnterprise sales manager Sharanjit Kaur, 44, was born in Singapore, as was her mother. Her father is originally from Punjab, India, which makes her a second-generation Sikh Singaporean.\u00a0We were best friends in the \u201890s but this is the first time we\u2019re attempting to talk about race. We\u2019re meeting over Zoom, and I tell her we\u2019ll do this bookclub-style, with questions on a shared screen.\u00a0\u201cI\u2019ve not read much of the recent coverage, because honestly, when you live as a minority, it gets tiring to talk about race,\u201d says Sharanjit. \u201cYet I don\u2019t want to feel this way, because what we need is more voices to elevate the conversation.\u201dA second generation Sikh Singaporean, Sharanjit Kaur says that talking about race as a minority can get tiring, but recognises that more voices are needed to elevate the conversation. (Photo courtesy of Sharanjit Kaur)Sharanjit tells me about a YouTube series, Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man, where former NFL footballer Emmanuel Acho fields questions submitted by viewers, such as ‘Are you scared of white people?’\u00a0\u201cThese questions should be asked,\u201d she says. \u201cJust not in a space where someone is trying to go about their daily life, and not to a child.\u201d\u00a0She adds: \u201cThe dialogue can happen at the dinner table, between family and friends of different races, because it\u2019s not one person\u2019s responsibility to address race issues, it\u2019s everybody\u2019s responsibility.\u201dShe doesn\u2019t have a vivid experience of racism that we can dissect \u2013 her memories are foggy. (Or perhaps, her lighter complexion meant she endured less racist bullying than someone with darker skin.) So we discuss something else that I think needs addressing: Our public housing policy and its racial quotas, which have a disproportionate impact on minority-owned flats.\u201cIt\u2019s not great to be at the receiving end of this policy, because I won\u2019t get the same opportunities as the Chinese when it comes to buying or selling an apartment,\u201d says Sharanjit. \u201cBut I see the logic of having different races live together, as opposed to living apart and not mingling, and developing \u2018us versus them\u2019 issues. I actually think Singapore got this right.\u201dI\u2019m also interested in her views on immigration: Do we need more people here, and who do we need?\u201cI don\u2019t believe any of us has the right to say \u2018You can belong here if you tick these boxes,\u2019\u201d says Sharanjit. \u201cIf someone is gracious, willing to work with others, and not causing trouble or dividing people, then he or she should be welcome here. I think problems begin when we pledge allegiance to invisible lines.\u201dWe agree that in a highly stratified city like Singapore, it can be hard to know where we fit in. As a minority citizen, where does she see her place?\u201cIt\u2019s important to me that I\u2019m a good person and a good Sikh, and by this I mean standing up for justice or fighting for the underdog, instead of walking away,\u201d she says. \u201cAlthough I\u2019m not going through difficulties in my own life, I think those in the lower socioeconomic classes are, and a lot of them are minorities. It\u2019s about lifting them up, otherwise their children will go through the same cycle. As human beings, that\u2019s what we need to do for each other.\u201d\u201cWhy settle for tolerance?\u201dI\u2019m wrapping up my weekend of race conversations with 30-year-old civil servant Samuel (not his real name, for work privacy reasons). He is a third-generation Indian Singaporean, and my cousin by marriage.\u201cI remember hearing in childhood, from family members, that we were not \u2018Indian Indian.\u2019 So in class, if a teacher asked if I was Indian, I would say, I\u2019m Malayalee. If I was asked whether I was Hindu, I would say, I\u2019m Catholic. I believed this meant I was \u2018better\u2019 than the \u2018Indian Indian,\u2019 he says. \u201cAs a kid, I would also feel validated if someone said I didn\u2019t look or speak like a typical Indian.\u201dToday, we know this as ‘internalised racism’, where someone from a minority race begins to accept majority-held beliefs and stereotypes, and tries to distance themselves from their racial group.The upside is that Samuel doesn\u2019t feel culturally bereft. \u201cIf you\u2019re steeped in your tradition and culture, and you move away from it, you will feel a sense of loss,\u201d he says. \u201cBut if you\u2019ve never had it, there\u2019s nothing to miss.\u201dThis doesn\u2019t mean he\u2019s immune to cultural slights, and he now has two races to care about. His fianc\u00e9e is a third-generation Malay Singaporean, and recently, an Indian relative suggested they hold their wedding \u201cat the void deck to save costs.\u201d\u201cWe were stung by the comment, but it also made us think,\u201d says Samuel. \u201cDid someone assume we should hold a void deck wedding because [my fianc\u00e9e] is Malay? Should we even be upset about this? And if we are, why? Is it because we\u2019re embarrassed by void deck weddings? There are layers to this.\u201dWould the comment have the same effect, coming from a Malay aunt? Probably not, he says. \u201cThe void deck wedding is part of Malay culture,\u201d says Samuel. \u201cIt\u2019s different when someone who isn\u2019t Malay makes the assumption.\u201dThat could be considered a ‘microaggression‘, which is subtle or unintentional racism. Then there\u2019s ‘casual racism‘, which is any form of disrespecting differences, including jokes.Samuel has a memory that unexpectedly surfaced recently, of being ostracised on the soccer pitch after being called \u201cIndian and smelly\u201d by a Chinese friend. \u201cTwenty-one years later, I feel like sliding into this person\u2019s DMs to ask if he remembers what he said,\u201d he says. \u201cI would tell him that it hurt then, and now.\u201dHe adds: \u201cI know that elsewhere, people of colour fear for their lives. But it makes me defensive to hear that, especially from the majority race, because does it have to be that bad before we\u2019re allowed to speak up?\u201dCould the simple act of conversation \u2013 with people of different races \u2013 change anything?\u201cYes, I think so, because it\u2019s a chance for us to see people as individuals, and not as a collective,\u201d he says. \u201cI don\u2019t like the term \u2018racial tolerance,\u2019 because we shouldn\u2019t just tolerate each other while saying politically correct things in public \u2013 that\u2019s papering over the cracks. More conversations lead to greater understanding, which is what we should be aiming for in Singapore.\u201dHe adds that we should also accept that such conversations can get tense.\u00a0\u201cMost of us don\u2019t have a helicopter perspective of things. For instance, I\u2019ve never experienced life as part of the majority,\u201d he says. \u201cBut it shouldn\u2019t stop us from trying.\u201dTalking about race isn\u2019t fun, it\u2019s work.\u00a0I waited a week before anyone was available to speak to me, and, feeling woefully inept, I devoured every article on race that I could find, sped through a Coursera anti-racism course, watched a race webinar by AcademiaSG, and alternated between listening to NPR\u2019s Code Switch (a race podcast) and the audiobook for So You Want to Talk About Race, by Ijeoma Oluo.\u00a0None of that made me a better race conversationalist \u2013 talking to people did. Having conversations with people I trusted reminded me that everything happens on a spectrum, and that our lived experiences are filtered not only by race, but also gender and other aspects of identity.\u00a0During the conversations, I also collected some ‘uncomfortable questions’ for the majority race, or, to be specific, the Chinese here in Singapore:Have you said anything that you didn\u2019t consider racist at the time, but you now feel differently?Have you been in a room where someone said or did something racist, but you didn\u2019t say anything? Why didn\u2019t you say anything?Is there something that society considers racist, but you don\u2019t?If reaching out to someone of a different race seems like a stretch for now, self-reflection might be a good place to start.Evelyn Tan-Rogers is a freelance writer and editor, and aspiring data analyst.Join the conversations on TheHomeGround Asia’s\u00a0Facebook\u00a0and\u00a0Instagram, and get the latest updates via\u00a0Telegram."},{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Destinations","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Singapore","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/\/singapore\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Opinion: Let’s talk about race","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/opinion-lets-talk-about-race\/#breadcrumbitem"}]}]