[{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/the-unsung-people-supporting-mothers\/#NewsArticle","mainEntityOfPage":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/the-unsung-people-supporting-mothers\/","headline":"The unsung people supporting mothers","name":"The unsung people supporting mothers","description":"For many women, their birth team may consist of their partner, doctors and nurses. Most of the time though, the partner might be clueless as to what is going on, and the medical staff are not always available throughout the entirety of the labour process\u00a0 \u2014\u00a0moving in and out of the hospital room as and […]","datePublished":"2022-02-07","dateModified":"2022-04-16","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/author\/sonia_sambhi\/#Person","name":"Sonia Sambhi","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/author\/sonia_sambhi\/","identifier":637,"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/06811bc6d9f1bf633a34efa927c8f6259cf7720dbb30e9187f570df46f168377?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/06811bc6d9f1bf633a34efa927c8f6259cf7720dbb30e9187f570df46f168377?s=96&d=mm&r=g","height":96,"width":96}},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"TheHomeGround Asia","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/photo_2021-07-22-222533.jpeg","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/photo_2021-07-22-222533.jpeg","width":640,"height":640}},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/Courtesy-of-Gem-Tan_Featured-Image.jpg","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/Courtesy-of-Gem-Tan_Featured-Image.jpg","height":900,"width":1600},"url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/the-unsung-people-supporting-mothers\/","commentCount":"2","comment":[{"@type":"Comment","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/the-unsung-people-supporting-mothers\/#Comment1","dateCreated":"2026-04-27 23:27:26","description":"I learned something new today.","author":{"@type":"Person","name":"Salomon speedcross 6 trail running shoes","url":"https:\/\/globalshoepalace.com\/product-category\/women\/Salomon-Women-Shoes"}},{"@type":"Comment","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/the-unsung-people-supporting-mothers\/#Comment2","dateCreated":"2026-04-24 17:44:02","description":"Your writing style is engaging.","author":{"@type":"Person","name":"Salomon trail shoes womens","url":"https:\/\/globalshoepalace.com\/product-category\/women\/Salomon-Women-Shoes"}}],"about":["Community","Health & Wellness","Local","Singapore"],"wordCount":2244,"keywords":["baby","birth","doula","parents","pregnancy"],"articleBody":"For many women, their birth team may consist of their partner, doctors and nurses. Most of the time though, the partner might be clueless as to what is going on, and the medical staff are not always available throughout the entirety of the labour process\u00a0 \u2014\u00a0moving in and out of the hospital room as and when necessary.Enter the doula, tasked to be at the birthing parent\u2019s beck and call to provide continuous support throughout the labour process. In Singapore, doulas are typically women without formal obstetric training, who are employed to provide guidance and support to birthing parents before, during and after labour. Doulas are relatively unheard of in Singapore and it is not known just how many doulas there are in Singapore, although the website doulas of Singapore lists about 37 independent doulas, and other sites list different companies in the country.\u00a0\u00a0The biggest part of a doula\u2019s job is empowering birthing parents and their partners \u2014 inclusive language that takes into account a diversity of genders \u2014 and making sure that they are heard throughout the labour process, says 25 year-old doula Gem Tan.Not having had kids herself, her choice of occupation may seem rather odd to others. But for as long as she can remember, she\u2019s always been drawn to the concept of family and motherhood, propelled by the strong women who brought her up \u2014 her mother and many aunts.\u00a0\u201cI was raised on the shoulders of mothers. Now I empower people to become the shoulders their new families will stand on,\u201d she says.\u00a0An unconventional series of decisions during her university studies, including taking an anthropology class titled Reproductive Technologies, pursuing a year-long capstone project entitled “Trying to Come to Term: Coping with Involuntary Pregnancy Loss in Singapore\u201d, and taking up an internship with an anthropologist of childbirth and midwifery in the United States, which\u00a0eventually exposed her to the concept of doulas. At first, she doubted the practicality of pursuing such a career in Singapore and decided to work at a startup as a market researcher upon graduation. But finding little fulfillment at her job, she began to explore training\u00a0to be a doula while keeping up with her full-time job. Undergoing the doula certification course by iBirth Professionals eventually cemented her decision to change careers, and she has not looked back since.\u00a0The biggest draw for her was the six-months mentorship programme, and knowing that she would be supported by experienced doulas throughout the steep learning curve.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cA big part of my insecurity was figuring out how to convince parents to let me into this very vulnerable, powerful and precious moment of childbirth when I myself had never had kids and have no work background in this field,\u201d she says candidly.\u00a0\u00a0Although she only began her mentorship last May, Ms Tan has now attended more than 25 births with Four Trimesters at the time of writing. She was certified in October.A common misconception is that people who engage doulas are those who are looking for a natural or drug-free birth, but that\u2019s not always the case, she says. \u201cMany clients come to us just because they want to feel like they are heard, and want to walk away from the experience feeling good about themselves, knowing they\u2019ve done the best for their families.\u201dDuring the Covid-19 pandemic in particular, doulas became a blessing for expatriates who were not able to get family support. These doulas provided both support and bridge to the medical system in a new country.Working to improve the birth experience of parentsThe main role of a doula comprises four parts and begins well before the labour process, Ms Tan says.\u00a0The first is an educator, going through all the options with the parents-to-be, including choosing between a home birth and hospital birth, the use of drugs during labour, and methods of induction before coming up with a birth plan.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cI don\u2019t tell clients what to do, because ultimately, it\u2019s their birth. They\u2019re the ones making the decision about what\u2019s right for them and the family. My job is to tell them the pros and cons of each option, and guide them to more resources if need be,\u201d Ms Tan says.\u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s also important to have a plan B, C and D before going into labour, because it\u2019s very easy for things to cascade out of control during labour. And it\u2019s easy to be pushed into one direction when clients are vulnerable, when there are actually multiple directions that a birth can go,\u201d she adds.\u00a0The second role is providing physical support. At Four Trimesters, doulas teach parents how to perform certain exercises that help during labour, if labour stalls or when contraction patterns are irregular. During the actual labour process, they actively help with these exercises and suggest different positions to go into labour in, as well as offer massages and counter pressure to help the birthing parent get comfortable and give them time to rest. Labour is a marathon, not a sprint, so pacing is really important, she stresses.\u00a0The third is doulas provide emotional support. \u201cMany people don\u2019t realise that clients need different things. Some clients need more physical support, others more emotional support. Labour can bring about a lot of fear in the parents, so we talk them through these fears and give them reassurance that they\u2019re doing just fine,\u201d says Ms Tan.\u00a0The last role is advocacy, which means making sure that the clients are heard and that the entire birth team is on the same page. \u201cAs a doula, I don\u2019t work for the hospital or the doctor. I work for my client. But at the same time, I\u2019m thinking about the dynamics of the whole team and making sure that we work together smoothly for the benefit of the client,\u201d she says.Doulas also provide postpartum support for about six weeks to help new parents adapt to life with a newborn and guide them with breastfeeding.\u00a0The challenges of an on-call life\u00a0As the adage goes, with great power comes great responsibility. Ms Tan is on call for her clients from the 37th to 42nd weeks of their pregnancy. Because she has an average of 4-5 clients a month, this works out to being on call almost all the time. Being on call 24\/7 means that doulas aren\u2019t always able to make plans in advance. Ms Tan deals with this by giving her friends and family a disclaimer that she might have to postpone their plans on the day itself.\u00a0Ms Tan admits that the hardest parts of working as a doula is over important dates like loved ones\u2019 birthdays or the holidays when family and friends get together. \u201cIn 2021, I worked over Christmas and last year, I was praying hard to celebrate Christmas. I had that day off, but not one day more. I got called to a birth on Boxing Day at 4.45am,\u201d she says.Being a doula also means that she\u2019s privy to moments of stress or trauma, such as injuries during birth, or when parents are overwhelmed and they break down. \u201cIn these moments, all I can do is provide support as much as I can. But I remind myself that I can\u2019t fix everything or protect everyone from trauma and ultimately, it\u2019s their journey to go through. Sometimes things are beyond you, and you just have to reconcile that fact with yourself,\u201d she says.\u00a0A day in the life of a doulaAlthough everyday may be different for\u00a0doulas, here\u2019s how a typical day for one might look like:3am: I get a call from my client that she\u2019s in labour. All my clients know that my phone is on \u201cdo not disturb\u201d mode after 10pm so a call means that they\u2019re either anxious or ready to head to the hospital.\u00a0I chat with the mum and find out that her contractions are about eight minutes apart and her water bag is leaking. I reassure her and tell her to rest, to call me again if she has any further updates or wants to go to the hospital.\u00a0I try to go back to sleep, but I\u2019m a light sleeper so I just lay in bed and try to get as much rest as I can.\u00a05am: I get another call and this time it\u2019s usually from the partner who\u2019s saying it\u2019s time to go to the hospital. I roll out of bed, brush my teeth, wash my face, pack and I have my version of the birth bag ready. It is where I dump in my toiletries, some snacks and my water bottle and head to the hospital.\u00a05.30am: I reach the hospital. Now it\u2019s all about supporting the birthing parent and partner as much as I can. If I\u2019m lucky, it\u2019s a quick birth, if not it could be more than 24 hours. My longest birth was 59 hours.\u00a09.15am: The client has been well into active labour for the past few hours. She\u2019s sitting on a gym ball but she\u2019s getting tired. I look at her contraction reading on the monitors and realise the last few contractions have been irregular: two to four minutes apart and 50 to 70 seconds long. That tells me the baby may be engaging with their mother\u2019s pelvis in an awkward angle, so we do some exercises from the Optimal Maternal Positioning\u2019s reversing protocol to reposition the baby. The contractions space out to every four minutes apart and the client is able to get a longer break between surges.11.05am: My client starts to despair that this baby will never come. Both her partner and I reassure her that she\u2019s doing amazingly well, and I remind her to take it one breath at a time. She\u2019s really struggling so I ask if she would like a cervical check to see her progress. She nods and we call for a nurse. Baby is low and she is 8cm dilated \u2014\u00a0two more centimetres to go! My client doubts she can wait that long and wants an epidural.\u00a0We have a quick discussion: The biggest drawback with administering the epidural is she would be confined to the bed. I ask her if she would like to try labouring in the shower to see if that will help. We help her into the shower and I shower her back with warm water, while her partner massages her lower back. She loves it and instinctively labours on her hands and knees. I see her enter her \u201czone\u201d and soon, she\u2019s starting to sound pushy. She\u2019s getting really close.12.30pm: Baby is born! My favourite part of birth is getting to witness the moment a newborn baby is put onto the mother\u2019s chest. No matter how tired a birthing parent is, or how intense the birth was, all that melts away and you see this expression of pure bliss and love on their faces.\u00a0As a doula, you\u2019re a witness to this rite of passage and it\u2019s such a privilege to be a part of that beautiful moment.\u00a01pm: I stay to help with the first feed and give the new parents as many tips as possible. There\u2019s a huge misconception that breastfeeding is easy, but it\u2019s a true skill that needs to be learnt for many mother-baby dyads. One thing to note though, you\u2019re not supposed to be in pain the whole time.\u00a0\u201cI was privileged enough to support this baby’s mother’s 14 hours of active labor and witness her birth, achieving the VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) she so desperately wanted,” says Ms Tan. (Photo courtesy of Gem Tan)3pm: I head home. If I can, I usually take shower and nap till dinner time.\u00a07pm: Dinner, and I will probably go back to sleep again after dinner because I\u2019ve been up since 3am. I\u2019m on my feet most of the time and I\u2019m doing a lot of emotional labour as well, so my mind and body are exhausted.\u00a0It\u2019s like recovering from jet-lag, so I just go back to sleep again.\u00a08am: I wake up the next day and have a prenatal or postnatal consultation for two hours. When I\u2019m at birth, everything is put on pause because that\u2019s my priority. If I have a prenatal or postnatal consult, I just text my clients to reschedule.\u00a0I\u2019ll try to rest the next day, and if I feel well enough, I\u2019ll go to my appointments. Everyday is different. Some days I have a lot more time and can help my boss with some research work or exercise or just chill.Ms Tan has some words of advice: \u201cPick a good doctor, one whose philosophy of care aligns with yours. In highly stressful situations, you really want your doctor to be on your side. For example, if you\u2019re aiming for as natural a birth as possible, ask questions such as how far will you let me go past my due date? What\u2019s your caesarean rate? Will you let me labour off the bed?\u201d\u00a0\u201cOh and attend childbirth classes and do your research,\u201d she adds.\u00a0Join the conversations on TheHomeGround Asia\u2019s Facebook and Instagram, and get the latest updates via Telegram."},{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Destinations","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Singapore","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/\/singapore\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"The unsung people supporting mothers","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/destinations\/singapore\/the-unsung-people-supporting-mothers\/#breadcrumbitem"}]}]