[{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/health-wellness\/opinion-making-the-case-against-toxic-positivity\/#NewsArticle","mainEntityOfPage":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/health-wellness\/opinion-making-the-case-against-toxic-positivity\/","headline":"Opinion: Making the case against toxic positivity","name":"Opinion: Making the case against toxic positivity","description":"In examining my past interactions with others, I have come to realise that I have unwittingly fallen into the trap of toxic positivity: an unhealthy focus on maintaining a positive mindset, and avoiding negative thoughts. It is the belief that people should put a \u201cpositive spin\u201d on all experiences.\u00a0 Take the times when friends approach […]","datePublished":"2021-07-05","dateModified":"2022-04-15","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/author\/Maisie%20Leong\/#Person","name":"Maisie Leong","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/author\/Maisie%20Leong\/","identifier":227,"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4f5c852853ba8ed19bedc5417be7db8166064cfcb8857f5ec40bb516fab94b2d?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4f5c852853ba8ed19bedc5417be7db8166064cfcb8857f5ec40bb516fab94b2d?s=96&d=mm&r=g","height":96,"width":96}},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"TheHomeGround Asia","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/photo_2021-07-22-222533.jpeg","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/photo_2021-07-22-222533.jpeg","width":640,"height":640}},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/1625484275171_Toxic_positivity_1080x626.jpg","url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/wp-content\/uploads\/1625484275171_Toxic_positivity_1080x626.jpg","height":626,"width":1280},"url":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/health-wellness\/opinion-making-the-case-against-toxic-positivity\/","about":["Health & Wellness"],"wordCount":1197,"articleBody":"In examining my past interactions with others, I have come to realise that I have unwittingly fallen into the trap of toxic positivity: an unhealthy focus on maintaining a positive mindset, and avoiding negative thoughts. It is the belief that people should put a \u201cpositive spin\u201d on all experiences.\u00a0Take the times when friends approach me with bad news: I often find myself at a loss for words, trying to think of an appropriate response. Expressing commiserations seems to be an inadequate response; dwelling on the circumstances they face reinforces the negativity of the situation. So I turn to optimism instead. \u2018It\u2019s going to be okay\u2019, \u2018Better days lie ahead\u2019, and \u2018You\u2019ll get through this\u2019 are just some of the platitudes I\u2019ve doled out to friends over the years.\u00a0I soon questioned if these reminders to others came from a genuine desire to help my friends, or if they stemmed from my own wish to feel better about the situation. And I wondered whether focusing excessively on positivity denied them the space to open up to me about the negative emotions that they were going through.\u00a0Effects of toxic positivityWhile optimism \u2013 applied in moderation \u2013 can be highly effective as a form of motivation and in helping to improve our well-being, excessive positivity can have the opposite effect, with negative consequences that can be long-lasting. Isolation is one possible risk, as toxic positivity can lead to a sense of shame about negative feelings, deterring people from seeking help.\u00a0Toxic positivity can also cause us to downplay tragic events, such as the loss of a loved one. A 2016 study posits that feelings of sadness are a \u201cgenuine response to tragic situations\u201d, while a 2014 paper on bereavement asserts that profound experiences of grief can serve as an expression of love, as a way for bereaved parents to \u201cmaintain a connection to a beloved deceased child.\u201d An excessive focus on maintaining a positive mindset may hence be an inappropriate response in such situations, as it may hinder the process of grieving.\u00a0An obsession with positivity could also raise the risk of turning a blind eye to harmful situations. A 2020 review of studies pertaining to domestic violence suggests that an overly positive mindset can \u201cplace pressure on individuals by implying that they are responsible for their own happiness\u201d. This could result in individuals being more likely to remain in dangerous circumstances, as the review found that women in shelters for domestic abuse with a positive attitude were \u201cmore likely to return to the offending partners.\u201d\u00a0The constant pressure to stay positive can also be debilitating. In forcing ourselves to be constantly positive, we also deny ourselves the much-needed space to process negative emotions, which can be detrimental to mental health.\u00a0In a recent podcast, psychologist Dr Susan David refers to toxic positivity as \u201cforced false positivity\u201d, and suggests that there is \u201cno research supporting the idea that false positivity \u2013 in other words, a denial of our experience \u2013 is helpful to us.\u201d\u00a0Dr David explains that emotions are an indicator of one\u2019s needs, and that suppressing emotions can have a negative impact on one\u2019s mental health, as this is associated with \u201chigh levels of depression, high levels anxiety, low levels of problem-solving, low levels of relationship effectiveness.\u201dToxic positivity, which encourages the suppression of negative emotions in favour of a positive mindset, can have detrimental effects on mental health, according to psychologist Dr Susan David. (Photo source: ipopba \/ Getty Images Pro)Changing our approach to negative emotionsIt is important to consider why toxic positivity is still a pertinent problem we face. Perhaps the answer to this lies in re-examining our relationship with negative emotions. How do we regard negative emotions like worry, envy, anxiety, and anger, and is there a stigma towards displaying these feelings?\u00a0When the pandemic was well underway, I coped by telling myself not to be unhappy but to be grateful for my loved ones and health. \u2018Tough times don\u2019t last, tough people do!\u2019 was a regular mantra, as was reframing the increased time spent at home as opportunities to pick up new skills.\u00a0For a time, I threw myself into the consumption of TED Talks, online courses, podcasts and even music I did not enjoy, as I perceived these actions to be indicators of productivity and a positive mindset. My Instagram Stories were inundated with activities, such as baking and brush calligraphy, while topics like my fears and worries were rarely addressed on the same platform.But managing the dichotomy between the attitude I felt I should espouse, and how I actually felt, soon became an unsustainable balancing act. It was difficult to make myself feel persistently optimistic, especially when emotions like sadness and worry surfaced.\u00a0I eventually realised that forcing myself to be always optimistic had become unhealthy: I had denied myself the space to process negative emotions, hiding this need beneath a frantic consumption of content to make myself feel more productive and positive. It took time to unlearn the notion that I had to be perpetually optimistic, and instead acknowledge the negative emotions I was experiencing.\u00a0To avoid toxic positivity, re-evaluating our perception of negative emotions is key, by understanding that such emotions are an integral part of our lives. It is imperative to maintain a balance between positive thinking and toxic positivity, and to recognise the differences between them. While healthy optimism validates one\u2019s emotions by acknowledging negative experiences, toxic positivity denies negative emotions, discouraging the confrontation of one\u2019s feelings.In doing so, it is also crucial to understand the role that negative emotions can play in our lives. While a pessimistic outlook is commonly regarded as being detrimental to one\u2019s well-being, it can also be beneficial. A study suggests that there is a difference between \u201cpure\u201d pessimism, in which one adopts a \u201cfatalistic assumption of the worst\u201d, and \u201cstrategic\u201d pessimism, where negativity is used to anticipate potential faults and aid in the process of problem-solving.\u00a0Listening to and engaging with others\u2019 emotions (both positive and negative) are also essential interactions, as is refraining from only adopting a positive response to those who seek counsel and\/or a listening ear. Sometimes chasing #goodvibes isn\u2019t the solution; counterintuitive though it may seem, sitting with negative emotions may be necessary to process experiences. Instead of positive clich\u00e9s, acknowledge what they are facing, and be open to holding space for them to talk about what they are going through.\u00a0Ultimately, it is important not to negate the merits of optimism, and to be wary of crossing the line into toxic negativity, be it towards ourselves or in our interactions with others around us.Resources and helplines if you need supportIf you, or someone you know, need\/s someone to talk to, resources are available:\u00a0Fei Yue\u2019s Online Counselling ServiceCHAT webCHAT ServiceInstitute of Mental Health\u2019s Mental Health Helpline: 6389-2222Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019Samaritans of Singapore: 1800-221-4444\u00a0Silver Ribbon Singapore : 6385 3714Care Corner Counselling: 1800 353 5800 (Mandarin)TOUCHline: 1800 377 2252National Care Hotline: 1800-202-6868Join the conversations on TheHomeGround Asia’s Facebook and Instagram, and get the latest updates via Telegram."},{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Health Wellness","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/health-wellness\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Opinion: Making the case against toxic positivity","item":"https:\/\/thehomeground.asia\/health-wellness\/opinion-making-the-case-against-toxic-positivity\/#breadcrumbitem"}]}]